On being Sick and Sickeningly Grateful

37 weeks, 4 days. All bets are off. Casey Finn could emerge at any moment. Normally at this point in pregnancy the mother is jumping backwards, drinking castor oil, shooting primrose tea, walking 10 miles a day and doing unmentionables to coax the baby out.

I on the other hand, despite feeling like a miserable whale of a human being and infinitely sad for my 13-month-old who wants to get into everything and go everywhere (we are not on the same page with that), am not anxious for this little man to emerge. I am sick as a dog.

I have somehow existed this entire pregnancy with no illness aside the pregnancy-related variety. And now, with every next moment containing the possibility of going into labor, I come down with this ghettoass illness. It feels like the flu, without the fever. So most likely it is just a horrible virus that is hopefully not too serious. But for someone in their last weeks of pregnancy herding a toddler, it is virtually a death sentence.

A week ago I was Wet Jetting the floors every night before bed. Such was my nesting. Now I am lucky if I can make my tissue land in the basket.

This means that my impossibly gorgeous and virtuous man has assumed pretty much all duties of the household. He works, he comes home to help me in the afternoon, he cooks, cleans, then goes back to work for hours in the night. I find him creeping in like a hollowed-out shell in the middle of the night. Does he complain? No.

I know it's practice for what will be the even tougher part of having a newborn and a toddler coexisting in the same roof. But it's hard.

Yet I am so so grateful. For having a soulmate who is the strongest and most loving person I know. Who I can count on to be there for me and our children. Watching him with Holden is the most peaceful, right thing my soul has ever experienced. I love our family. I can't wait to meet our new son (who has permanently wedged his elbow into my ribs but I get him back by my epic sneezes that scare him silly). Oh and I can't wait to not be sick.

Other than that, we are watching the World Cup around here and I am learning all sorts of things about how annoying South African instruments are. Oh, and about the football itself, which is pretty cool too. England and US both play tomorrow and we are anxious to see if they both advance (hopefully). Oh and finishing that nursery (still), which I am doubting will be "finished" before little one makes his cameo. But that's ok. We have what we need.

Mama and also Mama-to-be

Things You Never Thought You or your Man Would Say (ongoing post)

Kelly, Today: "No, don't kick your poop!"

Chris, Yesterday, Through Baby Monitor Unaware he's being Overheard: "Now that's one clean butt (cha cha cha) yes that's one clean butt (cha cha cha)!"

Chris, 6.26: "You're not supposed to poop in the water."

The Day's Stream of Consciousness

1) It's morning time for realz? What is that sound? A seagull? Wait, I'm in landlocked Texas. Oh, that is the baby crying. I see. What does the baby want? Food. (nudge male) It's his turn right? Right.

2) Holy crap what time is it? Almost 11 pm! Oh how I love love love that man of mine and his Saturday excursions with the boy to breakfast and the playground. Why is it I can nap but I can't sleep at night anyway?

3) Why isn't Chris answering my texts or the phone? Something awful must have happened. My request for him to bring me home Dippin Dots surely warranted a reply? The baby must have fallen and lost an eye on the playscape. Panic. Panic.

4) They are here. Oh thanks goodness. Oh no, an overtired baby. Please sleep. Please?

5) He brought a slice of pizza but no Dippin Dots. 7 out of 10. At least this garlic roll makes his enviable trip to the movie theatre to watch the World Cup and drink beer palatable. Wait what is that sound? The baby! It has been 45 mins of nap, not his best. Uh oh, that is not a good recharge. I see grouchiness ensuing.

6) Look at that kid shake his butt to the Beatles. He's fantastic. He's my utter world.

7) Why am I being yelled at by my world? Let's go swing and play at the water table. Must get bug spray. Must make sure bug spray is applied to all areas due to tenacious mosquitos. Should I put the sunscreen on before or after the bug spray? I can never figure this out?

8) I am going to have TWO of these guys. That is awesome. Wait that is going to be so freaking hard! How do people get through the doors with a double stroller? How will I nurse Casey with Holden running about? How how how?

9) I have less than 4 weeks to my due date. WTF.

10) Chris is definitely tipsy after the World Cup viewing. Totally not fair. Is he really mowing the lawn? Nice. MUI: mowing under the influence.

11) At the park and enjoying watching my son and his father play in the fountain. Wait, Did that guy really just let his two huge labs run into the park kid's splash fountain, drink the water, and shake their hair dirt and bugs all over the place? Yes he did. "That's freaking gross" did I say that aloud? Yeah I did. And wtf there is even a sign that says 'no pets allowed. Good work asshole. Time to take the boys home.

12) Grouchy boy, tired man. Feed them. Put the smallest to bed.

13) Why is my little gnome so upset??? This cry seems weird. It is either super tired or super pained. But the tone is one I don't recognize. Maybe it is both? It seems to be somewhat rhymthic in its undulations. Oh what if he ate something indigestible during the day and he's bleeding internally? What if it's just teeth? Teething drops, Orajel. Oh it worked. Thank you god for small favors.

14) It is Saturday night and I find myself itching to clean. Back is hurting. Do I really want to sweep and Wetjet? Why yes, yes I effin DO!

15) Is that a FLY on my glistening Swiffered floor? Oh hellllllll no. Why why why must summertime in Texas be full of such nasty pests just waiting to invade your home? Must kill.

16) Ouch. back. make sad face to appeal to male's protective instincts. There we go, there is that footrub.

17) Which is more of a bitch to put back on? The duvet or the Snoogle's pillowcase? Inquiring minds want to know.

18) Ahhh sweet bed. Sweet new book "Her Fearful Symmetry" given to me by sweet sister. And a sweet cuddle to watch "Shutter Island" otherwise affectionally known as "Shitter Island."

34 freaking days holy S*%T

Kitchen painting: completed.
Casey letters: created and finished thanks to me! i think i like them even better than the letters i made for holden!
Bassinet: assembled (thank you Jaime!)
Crib: shipped (thank you Webers!)
Nursery and Master bedroom painting: Not begun
Double Stroller: Purchased (thank you McAloon's!)
Animals: Alive, sadly
Hospital Bag: Packed (with $100 of .99 travel accessories might I add wtf
Spree: Attained (THANK YOU ELLEN!)
Quote for the Nursery: "Listen to the mustn't, child, listen to the don'ts, listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts, listen to the never haves, then listen close to me anything can happen, child. Anything can be. ~ Shel Silverstein"
Baby's Progress: 34 days left. 0 dilation :( Low.
Holden: Dancing.


Love this expression


The inspiration for the tree Chris is painting in Casey's Nursery


Pensive before his shots. He never has to get chicken pox lucky goose!


Holden's first painting. He really took to it; it was amazing to watch him.


My lovely new journal inspired by Casey's decor. Gorgeous thick letter with little holes in it like tree trunk knots.


Letters and a sneak peek of the boy2 in my belly



Holden laughs at my huge tummy then tells me it's big!

His first taste of peanut butter, and he didn't even go into allergic arrest!

Wow wow wow 1 year old!

So much has been going on! We just got back from North Carolina where Holden had an awesome time on his birthday and tomorrow the Webers come into town! I am 32 weeks pregnant, 5 weeks until full term. I can't effin believe it!

Will post pictures soon. There is really too much to talk about and I need to get to bed early tonight as I tend to toss and turn these days. Mr. Casey Finn is a rib-snuggler. Other than that he is quite the polite guest. Doesn't kick too much; not like my Bomber did (love you Bomb!). And measuring right on time. I can't wait to see Holden and Casey together. I think of it often with such joy and anticipation. I just know they will be the bestest of friends. And I know that I will be done being preggo for some time! At least, oh 1 year. ;)

For now, be content with my favorite new Bomb trick: he will say "yah" if you ask him a question. All casual-like. He is such a kisser too. And the last few weeks he is back to cuddle mode. He will go from exploring and climbing onto everything to wanting to just rest his head on my chest and cuddle. It is melty goodness. He will also say "no" and shake his head when I ask him if Mama likes cats. Another long story. Sigh. Shout out to Krysia's Madre for the adorable sloth Costa Rica onesie!

Boytastic

Holden squealed and whined until Chris took him out to bask in the rain. He is such a mini-me. I got a Calvin Klein picture out of it. My boys are so beautiful.





Holden wears protective eyewear that Chris dons to change messy poo


And we had an awesome time at Aiden's 1st birthday party, where Chris played soccer with Holden and a little partygoer.










And Holden's first go at football (the real kind):

We Love Webers!

The Webers came to visit while Chris was out of town this week to keep me company and help with the baby. I very much appreciate the consideration due to the expanding size of my belly and we had a totally bodacious time. Holden named Grandma "Apple" and Grandpa "Banana." We ate fondue, got pedicures (the ladies, at least), and spent way too much at Costco (for which Chris and I are eternally grateful thank yoooou). They leave tomorrow and we are all so sad:( It's hard getting used to having family around and that feeling of unity and community and then saying bye. But we will see them again soon so there are great thing to look forward to!

Holden continues to amaze us every day. He is almost a year old and the smartest, sweetest, most talkative little thing I've ever met. Today Chris and I played a game where we handed him an object then told him to bring it to dada (or mama) while in different rooms, and he would wheel his walker into the other room and hand the person the object! He brought me my sunglasses which rocked. Hahaha. He's so brilliant and so beautiful. He is the very sun. It is so hard to imagine loving another child as much, but I know it will happen. Today Chris and I toured the LnD at the local hospital in Cedar Park. It is small (only 4 labor rooms) but so homey and nice. We really liked it. Now for finding a dr that I like that delivers there. Yes, I am officially in my third trimester and still searching for a dr. Ugh. Hopefully this week that problem will be solved.

Holden and I have a gym membership and have been swimming almost every day! It is so nice to float around and he already starts kicking and trying to swim when in the water. I hold him so his belly is floating and he kicks right along! He loves the huge fountain mushroom:) It has been brilliant weather-wise here. We have been outside enjoying ourselves. It is maybe odd, but it is like I am experiencing the excitement of summertime and swimming and bbqs and all that as I did when I was a child. I have always prided myself on being able to maintain a childlike sense of wonder and perspective....but this is entirely different. It is truly the re-living of a pure sense of excitement, happiness, anticipation that I remember as a kid. I think it is obviously related to Holden and living life with him and Chris as our little protected family unit. And I think a large part is that I am fortunate to not have to work and have the dredging soul-sucking corporate politics involved in my life on a daily basis. Whatever it is I am breathlessly grateful for the lightness of my soul.

Oh, his 1-year-birthday. How I am so simultaneously proud and sad at the same time. We will be in the mountains with Grandparents McAloon. I can not wait to show him my waterfall that I named Baukie after my blanket as a kid and all the wonderful smells and sights!

We are thinking of naming our new boy Casey Finn. It basically means brave (casey) and fair or blonde (finn) in Irish. So right now that is our choice! We can't wait to meet our little man.


My beautiful man looks so grown up!