The Big 3-0

Yup. I am 30 years old. Wow. It feels so weird to say aloud, given that for 10 years my age has been twenty-something. But other than that I am quite excited about the start of a new decade full of love, life, and endless opportunities.

Having my first birthday with my new little family was so tenderly special I could barely contain myself in each moment. Holden- aside from his obstinance at wishing me a happy birthday despite my best cajoling- was so joyful and excited it was as if he knew something great was going on. We all went caroling downtown and we got to see Alicia, Andrew, Stacey, Tiffs to name a few, and Holden took in the downtown scene with awe and calm. Standing at the beautiful Capitol steps singing amidst 1000 of Austin's finest (and whitest lol), there was such a nice feeling of togetherness and public peace that it a rare find these days. Afterwards Alicia watched H-Bomb for my birthday gift and Chris and I went to Melting Pot and had yumz. Whenever we go there we get treated like royalty, apparently there is some notation in our file that says we are best friends with the owners due to my working with her at one point, so we always get special treatment and free stuff. We had a private little booth in the back, and the waiter looked so much like my dear friend Ethan and was so fun (We talked for 20 mins about old video game systems) that it really couldn't have gone much better. We got home and gave Alicia our dessert because we could not finish it, and I opened my presents before bed.

All my presents were thoughtful, but Chris's as always took the cake. He always manages to give me the perfect gift for the perfect time in my life. This time he got me a record player that you can connect to badass speakers and the computer to convert old records to mp3s and CDs. I had mentioned a long time ago how fun it would be to have a record player (The sound is sooo much better than cd/mp3 quality and the artwork is so nice) and go to the used record stores with Holden and pick out albums to try out. He remembered this and centered all my gifts around a music theme- also picking out three records spanning important times of my life (The Doors, The National and Radiohead Kid A) and a painting he got from a local gallery from an Austin artist who does paintings of cult figures. He got me most gorgeous painting of Kurt Cobain on stage with angel wings. Portions of it glow when the lights are out. It is now in our living room next to our Christmas tree. He told me that even though 30 is young, if I ever felt worried about getting too aged I will always have my music to keep me young. Today we went to Half-Price books and bought used records of Yeats reading Yeats, Hits of the 1720s hahaha, and Old Peter Green Fleetwood Mac. I also got a new Anne Tyler book (top 5 fav writer) and Huckleberry Finn. I think in high school I was assigned to read HF but skimmed through it annoyed by the dialect. Chris and I recently watched a wonderful movie (suggested by my dad) called "Away We Go" and the father-to-be in the movie said he wanted his child to live in a place with land and open space and feel overwhelmed with nature infused with wildness like Huck Finn (or something along those lines). I 100% agree with this desire so figured I would check out the book to see if I can unroot a newfound appreciation for it. When we got home we hooked up the record player to the TV and even despite the standard-issue TV speakers it sounded 1000 times clearer than a CD. And there was the occasional pop that I love.

My new painting


Holden wanted a Santa beard


Proud dad and cherub boy


Eating his taters like a good Irishman


Listening to Daddy at the coffee house


Kelly and Alicia (Holden's love)


Cruising downtown in sling


Are they caroling for me Daddy?!


Watching street musicians


Our glorious tree


It snowed on 12/4, the gods were a day off but i'll forgive them



And video of snow...I was so excited I nearly cried that my little boy got to see snow fall in his backyard on his first holiday season on earth. And onto New Mexico we go!

I am so thankful to have the love and support that I do in my life. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that I have the most wonderful man, happiest most beautiful baby on the planet, great family and friends, and the physical and mental strength to accomplish any goal I want- all at the young age of 30! Not many people are able to have the luxury of being so close to their little one that they actually notice the first time that a stroking of his back raises goosebumps, but I am indeed that lucky and each day I think of that and send a breathless thank you to the universe.

I am so excited to see what the next decade holds for our family, for our individual goals and pursuits, and hopefully for the world at large.

Love,

Kelly with a bowl fulla jelly

It might snow today!

I am so hoping it snows into midnight to welcome my new decade.

Some new vids...Bad Daddy feeding Holden a bit of ice cream:




And Funky Sprout who jumps on moving cars and then can't see me through the windshield...sigh

The 5 Minutes of Giggles Today!

It is raining and cold and the boy and I are going stir-crazy! He has been grouchy but we managed a few moments of enjoyment taking out all the toys and the blue ball.

Saturday's All Right for Fighting (with yer monkey)

Walking with Da

Music Hour: Aphex Twin "Alberto Balsam"

Tired tired tired

Bone crunching tired. In the process of making tea I placed my coffee cup into the microwave in an attempt to boil water for the tea. Afterward I realized I had forgotten to place water into the cup prior to putting it into the microwave.

Met up with some 2009 mamas today. Holden studied the babies scientifically trying to figure out what they were. I pointed out that he was also small. He just scowled at me.

At Target I made a kindly shopper crack up when I scolded Holden for "grunting at the nice people" picking out Hamburger Helper.

The kid's got four teeth now. Four. They all popped through at once and he didn't so much make one peep of complaint. Holy god I am lucky.

Goodnight world.

HOLY CRAP

This is seriously the funniest thing I have ever seen...Holden dancing to Cannibal Corpse for Uncle Ward. Enjoy!

Swinging and Watching Himself Swinging

Holden Swinging at the Park Today:




Then later watching himself swinging:

Bomb Bomb a ran!

Bomb's song.

He has two teeth poking through! Got top ones first...always gotta be different.

Holden's New Favorite Song

I am not sure how exactly I discovered this...but the second I sing this song to him when he's having a fit he quiets and listens intently. Maybe it's his love of animals? I love how appropriately soulfully stressed he appears in this.

Mmmm New Books

Holden acquired some awesome books: a monster book with texture (he loves to scratch everything) and a plush "Are You My Mother" book with an attached itty bitty bird on a string that you place in 3d settings in the book. He loves this last book the most- particularly because he can eat it. Here is some video of me smacking him in the face with the bird:

When the first baby laughed for the first time, The laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, And that was the beginning of

fairies.

-Sir James Matthews Barrie




Onion's new mini-game is following us when we go for walks. There were movers that were absolutely stunned by the sight of the bee-chihuahua and the dog-cat on our walk today. It rocked.



My Festive Boy with Reindeer Feets:



Halloweenie:


Angry Toad knocked of road in Mario Kart


Twilight Zone door. We thought maybe this was a bit scary for kids but whatever.


Blair Witch symbols we made from our trees.


Chihuahua-Bee Abomination


Somehow he makes the toad hat look good


Sproutkin


Yoshi and Toad


Best picture ever

So come on and cry cry babbbbbaaiiiiyyyah

Holden and I had the pleasure of meeting dearest Tams and Tiffs for lunch at the arboretum today. Holden enjoyed being around the pretty ladies and gave quite a few flirty grins. It was great to see them and have some girl time. I have to say that Tammany did great as a surrogate mama, and even looks beatific when soothing the crying Bomb:



He was sorta a little shit today on our walk. Blech. Don't even want to go there. Suffice it to say that I was cursing Chris's name for being states away while I contended with a screaming 20 lber in one hand while pushing a 33 lb stroller with the other for a half mile. Sound difficult? Try that with judging strangers and a tank top a bit too big drooping as you go along. Yah...he was perfect the whole way up, and he was horrific the whole way back. If ever I've been close to a nervous breakdown that would be it.

One day hugging him won't always be the immediate solution to his woes and this I try to hold dear.

One day Chris won't have to travel so much. This I can not wait for.

Goodnight all of you out there in tv land.

Zooropa

Chris was actually able to come home for a few days and break up his trip! During his "visit to Austin" we found Holden a Nintendo Toad Costume and a nerdy Yoshi for me. So excited! Chris also had the awesome idea to use the branches we cut from our trees to make Blair Witch sticks. So going to do that manana and make some yummy fall tea courtesy of Chef Jaime. Speaking of chef, I made Holden green beans AND we made our own sun dried tomato pesto. I used it for our amazing chicken dish and it is exceptional. I don't know what is going on with our grill though, every time I light it a huge flame shoots out at it and heads straight for my hair. I have yet to experience corporeal flamage from it but it is some scary biz.

Holden and I went to the zoo yesterday. He seemed to be fascinated by the goats...who wouldn't be fascinated by creatures with devil eyes that eat fences?




I also remembered how to say "hello" in prairie dog from my time as a prairie dog keeper, much to the delight of the little ground-dwellers at the zoo:




We saw some awesome signage:



And a newly erected memorial at the exact spot where Chris and I witnessed a full-on chicken orgy last trip to the zoo:



That had me in stitches. I also saw a baby peacock for the first time...it was brown and stringy. I pointed it out to a little nearby boy with blonde curls just like I hope my baby will have and he ran for it. Oops.

Today Uncle Andrew and H-bomb and I went to Town Lake and walked. After yesterday's lugging of our crappy stroller through mud and having to continually pick it up, and today's broken back carrying him in the sling during our walk, I have determined I am going to need a jogging stroller. I go outdoors too often and the baby is too heavy to have just the slapstick stroller and the sling in my back o' tricks.

Later I pretended to crush my little chubbo and he of course loved it!




I love seeing him hang out in just his dipe sometimes. Just amazing to see such a perfectly miniature body.

Oh and for those people just itching to buy gifts for the most perfect creature in the world, I have started Holden his own Wish List. More like a tally of things I would like to get for him in the future but whateva!

I will take some pics of the Blair Witch Sticks. Also started writing a kid's Halloween book called "Holden and the Haunted Hullabaloo." :)

Very Superstitious Writings on the Wall

Holden and I are deep in the midst of Halloween festivities. It has been so lovely out lately...in the 60s and that deep Weber-eye blue


you see only in Texas (or parts of NM;). Speaking of NM...Chris, Holden and I had the most amazing time ever in Ruidoso! The parents all got along, Chris and I got to lounge in the jacuzzi and drink Jack Daniels indiscriminately, and we also got an entire solo day/night date in Santa Fe! Which is incredible, btw. The colors, adobe, and way the sunlight falls on all of it is breathtaking. A few days after we got back Holden got a new cousin! Baby Connor was born 10/4 and Holden won't shut up about meeting him!

Chris left on Friday for 12 days. 12 PEOPLE! That is insane. Poor man will be basically gone until December. Bomb and I were sad but being the strong little pack we are decided to make the day nice and went to the park and walked. Afterwards we sat amidst the trees and ate carrots:


Carrots are by far Holden's favorite food yet. They make his poo biohazard orange, however.

We also read some spooky tales:



And the boy played with his new favorite toy (he's starting to love things with wheels let the boydom commence)



Yesterday I managed to complete my 3000 loads of laundry and Holden made me misty-eyed as I watched him figuring out water displacement. He would pick up the scoopy toy, fill with water then dump it out. Seems simple but it's a pretty advanced concept. He also is really really trying to crawl. He gets up with his arms straight then tries to wiggle his legs to move.


I use the animals as bait. He just loves the animals, second to his ma and pa of course. I also made some ridiculously good brownies and we took at drive to Nameless, TX.

"Settled in 1869, the citizens of the fledgling committee ran up against the postal authorities in Washington. No one recalls what names were submitted, but they were rejected six times. The expressed their frustration by writing back (which may have been just what the buereaucrats wanted) "Let the post office be nameless and be damned!"

The postal authorities had a laugh - and then granted their wish. The post office was registered as Nameless, Texas in 1880. The community had fifty people, two churches, a store and school in the mid-1850s. "

They had a Nameless Cemetery and other cute little stores. It was along a gorgeous hill country road. There was a scary truck behind me so I thought maybe I wasn't allowed in their bitter town and was being chased, but I escaped. I tried to enter into Nameless Cemetery to see some of the names there but it was locked up behind a gate and a beautiful stream:



Though the whole cemetery thing did serve a purpose for my next Halloween adventure: visiting a cemetery and finding a lonely deflowered grave to give a sunflower to. So today Holden and I went to Oak Grove Cemetery on Spicewood Springs Rd. This is by far on my top 5 favorite roads in Austin. It is such a gorgeous stretch of winding road flanked by horse farms and beautiful old houses. It was actually a beautiful place. It was right alongside the spring/creek which was raging from the rains and there was a ton of wildlife. I can't say I have seen so much concentrated wildlife in all my time in Texas. Usually it's pretty sparse. I don't know if it was the bodies all pushing up daisies or just that there is such peace and nature there, but I saw a huge deer run through, tons of butterflies and dragonflies, and the weirdest of all....a bunch of salamander-like lizards! I never see lizards here, and if I do happen upon one they are those huge desert lizards with the thick tails. These were slick and cute. There was supposedly a Tuttle buried somewhere in there, which is a name associated with a fictional grandmother Stacey and I created, but I couldn't find them. Every single grave was decorate ornately with heartfelt and weird little Texas additions, like cowboy hats and this outhouse!



Creepy enh? I gave a flower to the only undecorated stone I could find...I didn't realize until later that there was no death date so the person is probably still alive! So then I felt bad like I was all like kick the bucket Vera Lue!

The graves all had fresh dirt on top of them. This really really really creeped me out. Total Thriller flashbacks. I kept expecting a hand to pop through.



So that might have been why I was hasty in placing my flower! However, I did try to take a moment to be reverent and reflect on life and all that jazz. Holden was naturally curious and looking about quietly and observing. We sat on a bench while cars drove by with weirded out looky-lous and I told him that one day he was going to ask me about what happens when we die and hopefully I will have a belief at that point that resonates with me other than just the vague "heaven" most parents give their kids. I told him life was short and oftentimes difficult but it is also beautiful and fraught with love. I promised to be good to him my entire life. I also assured him that his generation would solve the problem of death so he doesn't have to worry about it. It's so odd, I remember being pregnant with him and marveling that even though he wasn't yet born he already had a ticking heart and thus an expiration date. This probably all sounds a bit macabre but I try to view life and its cycle as miraculous in its temporal fragility, and I think its wrong to conducts one's life in a blind, unappreciative manner.

In addition to the fresh dirt, (which I was thinking was to keep the bodies underground despite all the rain and flooding we've had!) there was a mess of castaway flowers and toys outside the chained link fence surrounding the cemetery.



It made me sad.

Anyway, it was an odd combination of a peaceful yet creepy as hell place. I have an overly active imagination...and it didn't help that on the way home I heard "Where Do Bad Folks Go When They Die" covered by Nirvana and "Superstitious" by Stevie Wonder on the radio! Haha. Grr. Maybe I need to use a smudge stick and cleanse any spirits that may have piggybacked home like in the Haunted Mansion in Disney World:) It is quite interesting though how cemeteries are everywhere and commonplace but just going into one can kind of alter your reality a bit and throw you off kilter. Which might not be a bad thing.

Anyway, as you can see Halloween is in full swing around these parts. We have some glowing peeping eyes in the front bushes. I can't wait to carve a jack o lantern. Haha oh that reminds me so much of Ellen but I won't explain why. Oh Ellen how I miss thee!

Later in the day we were playing and he was grabbing for the towel and then going ROOOOAR like a dinosaur and attacking it and trying to eat it. It might be one of the cutest things I've ever experienced...



Kelly aka Kelvira

Where to Start

Wow I have not updated in a while and therefore have no information about our New Mexico trip or Ellen's visit or nuthin! I need to remedy that. First, though...video I captured of the Bomb in his new walker. I caught him figuring out that it moves! So far backwards is the way he rolls but whatever works!

Halloweeniee is coming!

Check out this entry

And now a year later:







I can't believe it's been a year since I bought this outfit, that I actually managed to hold onto it without it going the way of socks, and that the baby who wears it is so spectacularly gorgeous of a creature that he even looks good in orange. He is more than I ever could have imagined when I tenderly wondered about the life to come when seeing this outfit a year ago.

On this fall-ish day, spending the morning sitting on the porch with Holden in his "I Love Mummy" onesie, I am filled with such excitement for the holidays, for the things to come, for this moment as it is. I am so excited to make cider and decorate our house and dress up our beautiful baby and hand out candy to the little ones.

Hiiii!

I caught a few rough hi's on vid! please excuse camera work, i wasn't looking through the lens and ended up filming last night's dishes instead of the baby for the most part. whoops on both counts!

Sprout Tickles Holden's Tummy

The Boy Speaks!

HOLDEN SAID HIS FIRST WORD!!! AT 4.5 MONTHS!!!!

What an utter genius. He has been babbling and trying different tones but today he was definitely repeating "HI!" to me. Courtney verified that it was indeed a real word and I trust her because she's heard first words from three little ones! I was so excited I was crying little tears and my heart was racing like I was being chased but by something wonderful.

Today has just been so fun. Holden is such a happy, smart baby. I feel so lucky to have him in my life. I just wish that Daddy was around this week to hang with us...but vacation starts Saturday and I can not wait to see both sets of Grandparents AND have a couple of days sans baby with Chris in NM! Some Vids of the day (I will try to get him saying HI and post that too):

Holden in his Lab with cameo by Bug Man:





Here he is laughing at me and I got a bit of him repeating words to me but it's not the HI of which I speak...



And later we played with Miette and Holden got a total kick out of her crazy butt (love how she tries to get her hotdog to hump her):

it dont mean a thing if it aint got that swing

holden took his first swing at the park! he barely cleared the seat but he enjoyed it! :)




he also had a lot to say later about either the taste of bananas or his father being out of town...he's trying so hard to talk it makes me so proud but sad bc i bet it is frustrating!

sleeping angel

Holy Guacamole!

So the Bomb has had rice cereal for 2 months now, but that is not real food...more like bland mush. We got the hell yeah from the ped to give him fruits and veggies and so naturally we started him on Chris's fav...avocado! It is a good first food...nutritious and low risk of allergies. Although according to Rita it will turn his poo flourescent green, so we shall see if there is a lovely surprise in store in the AM.

Overall the avocado was a huge success! It was amazing to watch the range of expressions on his little face...surprise, uncertainty, enjoyment, excitment. He has been eyeing our "real person food" enviously for a while now so he was certainly ready for it. It was awesome how quickly he wanted to grab at the spoon and the excited little coos he made (the same one he makes when he looks at his hot girlfriend: the Sears Portrait model baby).

Enjoy!

First bites


Excited coos and daddy bites


Array of expressions (you'll notice we forgot the bib haha):

Shock


Uncertainty


Goofin


Post-avocado accomplished


Happiness and yumz

Fascination Street

So apparently my preggo hormones are officially gone (which Chris should be happy about) because I am shedding all over the place. It is worse than the cats...hair adorns the floor, couch, pillows, fans, clothes, everything. I just hope it stops before I need a weave.

I started looking back through old pics and video today and found some from the day of the birth that I haven't seen in so long, or at all. I uploaded a bunch of my things right after I got home from the hospital and didn't really have time to absorb them in the haze of new parenthood. So looking back on them now, 4 months later, is a pure nostalgic (bittersweet) delicacy. I can't believe that my little boy is 4 months old. In a blink he will be going to his first day of school, slamming the door because I don't let him see his girlfriend one Saturday night. Sigh.

I found this video, that Chris took right after our baby was born...in awe and sniffles. It made me cry all anew:



and photos:

Me getting some real contractions


Chris after Tammany came to visit us, bringing Chris sustenance to motor on.


Me and Tammany. Yes, that was post-epidural


Holden and his grapefruit brain. He is still mad about that squeeze, ask Chris.


It's amazing to me that he never looked smushy and alien even right after birth.


My strapping lad.

Ok I need to stop I am getting all maudlin. Blah!

4-Month's Strong

Well da Tode has officially thrived to the 4-month mark and his parents are still breathing. Holden had an awesome doctor's visit- the doctor said he was perfect- and reacted ok to his shots aside from a touch of the grumps for the day. I was a bit annoyed at the fact that they were going to give him his "second" HEP B shot, due to the fact that he already had two...one at the hospital and one at his 2 month visit. They had somehow not referenced their paperwork correctly and thought he had not received a shot at the hospital. How me, a weary mother who just endured a 12-hour labor, remembers this and they don't is beyond me. But I managed to save the little one from an extra dose he did not need.

Today we had a fun day exploring a new place in Austin- the nature center. And we also got some yumz Torchy's Tacos and brought Daddy surprise queso and tacos for lunch.


A creek you can walk and splash in at the Nature Center. Bit too advanced for the Bomb right now.


There is a preschool housed in a cottage from the 1800s! It is beautiful stuff of fairy tales.


Scary tree


Apparently our house is also a wildlife habitat...


Mommy and crabass after shots


H-Bomb's motor skillz are off the chain. He particularly is interested in mastering the holding of his bottle, little hosser.

Such great things coming up including vackay in NM and CA, a new cuz, and a visit from Godmother Ellen!

Mamaloon