33 Years On This Rock and The Boy's First Haircut

My little boy was shorn while I slept! On Saturday Chris got up with the baby and I snoozed in to my heart's content. Upon waking I discovered that my 9-month-old had been replaced by a 2-year-old! Or so it appeared with his newly cropped do. I cried...there wasn't even any warning!



Then on Sunday thebestmanintheworld turned 33 years! Unfortunately he had to leave the next day (today) to restart his traveling regimen that has been stalled for nearly 3 months (we got spoiled). So we spent most of his birthday getting things done. But we did manage to watch some music videos and play with one of Chris's new presents:






I got him the Crayola Glow Dome. He drew The Edge a la U2 fame(or "the coolest person in the world" according to Chris) on the inside panel and on the outside orb that spins he penned the lyrics to "All I Want is You" and said that's what he'd give me if he knew me in high school. I thought it was even better than the best mixtape. I also got him an X-Men t-shirt and and Ipod Touch (affectionally known as "The Fondle"). But that last gift was on order so he has to wait for it. I even got to engrave it for free! He is super excited about his return on Friday not only to see us, but to play with his new fancy gadget. I also made him a shitty banana cake.

So the schedule is that Chris returns Friday from Little Rock, AR. Then I leave Sunday for Florida for a week while he is in Houston. I can't wait to show Holden the ocean, but I wish I could bring Chris with us to watch Holden watch his first seagulls.

If you're reading this, Rappongi...I love you you old man.

My First Baby Purchase

Ok so it is a double-sided coin of sorts that this new baby is the same gender as the last because it means that while we will have all the clothes we need, it also means we have all the clothes we need. I want to get the little one new stuff! And let me tell you little boy clothes just melt me. I love the sleepy blues and bright reds. Tonight at Babies R Us whilst spending ridiculous amounts of money on diapers (yeah, I wish I had the steel countenance to use cloth and be a-ok throwing crap into my washing machine but I don't and besides it's proven that the cloth is, pardon the pun, shittier for the environment) I managed to sneak in a few baby purchases amidst Holden's things.

To anyone reading this (does anyone read this? lol) who is expecting a baby or hopes to be in the future....GET THESE GOWNS:



They come in a lot of different styles and companies, I just happened to like the peace signs and alphabet soup. Anyway newborns look so freaking cute in them, particularly boys because they are sorta like little monk robes or unexpected dresses. And they have the hand/claw covers attached to the sleeves. It cuts down on the time you spend during those late night changes. You just pull up, do the biz, pull down. Fumbling with snaps in the middle of the night is such a pain. As a second resort get the zip up feetie pajamas. but these are the best. Ok yeah I am totally geeking out.

My little boy is so beautiful. He is really becoming a little toddler. He is so good at standing up nearly on his own or with barely leaning on furniture. He talks in some alien tongue which means he's trying to emulate our language. And he is such fun to be around. His real features are emerging now. And he totally has his father's perfect male jawline and elven nose. The cleft chin is his own. He's a total heartbreaker.



And my tummy almost halfway along. Everyone says you look huge really fast with the second but so far I feel bigger than I did with Holden but not too awful:



I think I am lucky in that I carry them high. But the game isn't over yet.

Baby 2010

I absolutely can not in a million years believe this was ever my little Holden:




This was during his first checkup before his first bath. Maybe 30 mins after being born. They start with the baby torture right away. Chris filmed this, apparently unaware that "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael was playing during Holden's first sponge bath. Listen for it. Just evidence that he's going to be trouble when he's a teen. I missed these firsts, given that my nether regions were being spliced back together and then I was dumped off in an empty room with nothing but the Tyra Banks show to keep me company while I waited for my baby and his father to return to me once more. I remember that being that most surreal feeling. Such indescribable exhaustion after being in labor for 14 hours, delivering a baby, and then abandoned to an empty room with nothing but some weird talk show. The world had changed forever.

And now once again, I prepare for yet another upheaval, a shapeshift into an even more beautiful form than that which my life has taken...

We are giving Holden a little brother.

Not only will he have a little brother. But he will have a little brother who is so near in age to him (15 months) that for all intents and purposes he will have a twin. A partner and friend in life forever. Someone to comfort him and for him to comfort when his parents have long since passed from this earth. Bunk beds, fireflies in jars, camping, capture the flag, whispered ghost stories long after lights are out, bikes, silly dances and video game cheat codes, to name a few.

It makes me weep with joy to even think of it. To think of welcoming a new soul into our home. To have an itty bitty infant again who is so helpless so tiny yet so microcosmically perfect in every possible way. I look back on those pictures and videos of Holden's first days and weeks on this planet and I think of how tired I was. How I moved as if swimming through thick air. How then, having had no reference point, I thought it would forever be like this.

And now I realize that during the sleepless nights to come, the endless diapers, cries you hear in your sleep, I will know deep down that this time is ephemeral and dear. Not only that, but I will have Holden there to share Chris and I's joy and love with.

It makes me so happy to think that he will never remember not having had his brother. It will have been to him as if his sibling was always there, always sharing his world. Jealousy about "the baby" will not exist.

And here he is, in all his beautiful 7 ounce, 5 inch form. 18 weeks along. Nearly halfway. And he already is the most captivating, peaceful creature ever to be. And he looks like his big brother. So he lucked out.

Right now our favorite contender for a name is Finn. Not only is it just a cool name, but if you review back a few blogs you will see that Huckleberry Finn was the book I was reading early in my pregnancy, maybe before I even knew I was pregnant. And I spent so much time daydreaming about my children being able to live a life like that: wild, untamed, in touch with nature, fully exploring the world and their imaginations. The fact that it is a book about boys is just a nice bonus. The fact that it is a literary reference and a famous boy protagonist is perfect with Holden. And then there is the fact that it is an Irish name based on an Irish hero who was a real-life Robin Hood makes it even more appropriate. Plus, it just kind of looks like him.



We are a blessed family. I can not wait to see our boys playing together. Hell, to be able to say "the boys." Holden is going to just be the most amazing older brother. And Chris is going to be able to put two more men on this earth who in his likeness are kind, gorgeous, smart, creative, and respectful.

Love, The Happy Mama M.