Been Reading Poems and Started My Book!

On Turning Ten

Author: Poetry of Billy Collins

The whole idea of it makes me feel

like I'm coming down with something,

something worse than any stomach ache

or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--

a kind of measles of the spirit,

a mumps of the psyche,

a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.You tell me it is too early to be looking back,

but that is because you have forgotten

the perfect simplicity of being one

and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.

But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.

At four I was an Arabian wizard.

I could make myself invisible

by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.

At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.But now I am mostly at the window

watching the late afternoon light.

Back then it never fell so solemnly

against the side of my tree house,

and my bicycle never leaned against the garage

as it does today,

all the dark blue speed drained out of it.This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,

as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.

It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,

time to turn the first big number.It seems only yesterday I used to believe

there was nothing under my skin but light.

If you cut me I could shine.

But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,

I skin my knees. I bleed.



Also here is one of my favorites of all time read by the man himself!

http://www.salon.com/audio/2000/10/05/eliot/

23 weeks, 2 Days

Cleaning up house and had to take a little snapshot of my belly:



I am carrying him so high! Getting kicked right now, think he's trying to make it clear that it is indeed him in my belly!

Hoping that Beeonardo (our amazing Dollar Store bee kite) gets some fly time today after all our errands are done.

Love to all!

I need this!!!

What do you say Mrs. Weber? Best and Prettiest Seat Ever!

Love Train

Holden,

We are on a love train! At least that is what it feels like. Everyone keeps talking about how lovely you are going to be and how excited they are to meet you and celebrate your existence at the upcoming baby shower (of which my only part planning is the date and the names list and the demands that it be co-ed and have available alcohol for the non-preggos since there is no reason others can't drink just b/c I am pregnant!) Thank you to my lovelies: Tammany, Ellen and Shanon for coordinating what I am sure will be a majestic time never to be forgotten, even for a harebrained preggo like me! And thank you to Courtney and Lesley for looking over my registries with an expert Mommy eye. I can't even describe how blessed I feel to have such wonderful people in my lives.

I put in my notice at work today. Sad faces abound but mostly "I am jealous, you biotch!" but in good natured tones. 2/12 the last day of work until when.....? It is going to be a change going from getting a paycheck every month for the majority of my adult life to getting paid in love from our little family! But I am so excited about this opportunity to focus just on you and Daddy for a while.

Did I mention I can't wait to meet you? Yes? Oh well I will say it again:

I
Can't
Wait
to
Meet
You.

I can barely stand it. I can already tell a bit about your personality, the kind of music you like to dance to when I sing. You LOVE the Righteous Brothers, hahaha. Soul and passion, huh? Where does that come from? ;) Oh and the pasta, you love the pasta. And every time I get up in the morning to inevitably pee you wake up and throw a little fit at my deflating your cushion. Sorry.

Passports are attained! Our pictures are hawt! The post officer (haha is that a word?) said that it wasn't fair that they are so good. Darn tootin'! It takes a few weeks for them to come in but then we will be set to tour the British Virgin Islands, Mexico, and wherever else our little hearts take us. I think of you bundled up, used to the new sights, taking in the world with the eye of a world-traveler, continually in wonderment. And me, your Mom, watching you watch the world, my own world expanding with the witness of yours. You will know how to snorkel and sail and fish and love and be held for hours at a time and to identify the constellations and which one is Taurus like you and to sit back, listen to the water, and be at peace with your place in the universe.

I wish so much for you and all that you aspire to be. I feel so lucky to be able to watch you become the amazing individual you are to be.

You are flurrying as I write this. You must agree. You must love me too:)

Mama

Going to get Passports Today

Here is Daddy's old passport. It is so cute I just had to scan it. He was such a cocky kid just like I was. I wish I had my old passport to paste too so you could see our same souls.



Your daddy is the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen in all his incarnations and ages! If you look exactly like him I would be so thrilled. You are going to grow to be the most gorgeous child, child-man, and man ever!

Btw, you will have your own passport after you are born! I think it is valid for 5 years? Funny b/c an infant and a 5 year old look nothing alike, but whatevs.

Some Pictures!

Pretty firework flowers


Daddy carrying carseat so we can take it in and out of cars we are test driving. We think we are going to get the Ford Escape Hybrid. I know I know it's a Ford. But it is ranked top 3 in reliability, is comfortable, and we really want to be responsible consumers with the whole environmental crisis thing.


Daddy on New Years looking very handsome. Notice distinct LACK of belly. No fair!


You in Mommy's 22-week belly. Still relatively small compared to the other 22 weekers I've seen. Hoping that we keep it on the low side so it's less work for me after you pop out!

Happy New Year, Baby Blue

Snork,

Happy new year baby boy. Your father and I had a wonderful time visting family in FL and everyone is so excited about you. Excited to the point that they are naming you- Grandpa is calling you Aloisyus Merriweather. Which, actually, I like, haha. But more for a daschund than I human, me thinks. You have the most adorable cousins and I can't wait for you to play with them and all the people who love you.

Actually, we are thinking of calling you Holden. It's a good solid name phonetically and not in top 200 names. Plus we were angsty teenagers and even now really like the kid in "Catcher in the Rye." We aren't 100% on it. But think that maybe 30% of the population will actually understand the reference so it's not too cheesy. It seems like a good match the more we say it aloud, or think of a kid's voice calling it out on a playground, "Holden, give me the ball" in the shrill kid-like tone. We had a discussion about this today. We went to the park after buying this Wal-Mart 12-games-in-one pack that included badmitton and this jai-lai and this velcro disc with a ball that stuck to it. We set up our cheesy net across two trees and harnessed Miette to a tree adjacent to the walking path. She greeted all the bikers with her pathetic "help me" gaze. We watched two Moms play with a son and daughter with a soccer ball and thought of you learning to play soccer. The little boy would kick the ball then do this funny like mix between a karate move and antelope leap. It was really joyous. We talked about you in my belly and the goods things to come.

I am so excited about you, baby. Just thinking about even little things, like feeding you a bottle and which kind will you prefer, or going to the store to get your car seat, or looking at your clothes hanging in the closet, fills me with such joy and anticipation but in a sort of contended, not twitchy way, that I just go on and on with my run-on sentences. It is barely containable sometimes. I effervese with hopes and dreams of our family and what is to be. This is between times where I worry about the time crunch of moving and a new place and leaving my friends behind and all that goes with that. But I have faith in the future working out as it is meant to and the ability of our family to create our own little world regardless of where that resides geographically.

What else....seems like forever since I have written. I have lots of pics from our visit to FL in an album on FaceBook. You already know what that is, right? Blogging from my stomach I am sure...kids these days and all that jazz. I also have an idea for a book based on alternate realities based on my life right now with you coming along, and an alternate reality if I wasn't expecting you. I think I might do it in alternating chapters of journal entries and use my old journals and then the ones since I found out about your presence. I am a sucker for the whole "two paths" thing. Hey this blog might be famous one day! :)

You are getting so strong and your movements are like snow flurries in my belly. I can now see your movements from my skin! Amazing. It is almost nostalgic too. In Florida I showed my belly growth to Daddy, as often I do and am proud of, and he put his hand on it and said sort of sadly, "Oh, it's going too fast." I didn't even think of that before now, since you aren't even here. But it really is true. I am more than halfway through my pregnancy and my memories of being newly pregnant seem so distant. Soon you will be here, then crawling, then walking, then running, then flying off for job interviews and to your own family. We are just trying to record and slow down every honey-dripped moment.

Well I will sign off for now. Once I lay down you will kick me as you always do when I lay down, and I will put my hand over you and smile and then swallow it so the smile goes down to you and you feel how happy I am to be here, being kicked and punched by your perfect little body.

Mommy