RIP MJ

Michael Jackson died. This is pretty much the musical equivalent to JFK's death for our generation. I am surprisingly very sad about this. Holden is crushed; MJ was his favorite artist. I remember when he was in my belly and I would play "Wanna be startin' something" and he would swirl and sway to the music. With so much conflict and injustice happening in Iran it is a bit confusing to wrap my mind around how devastated our country is by MJ's death. Wise Stacey said that sometimes grief can comprise more than just the particular event that was the catalyst for the grief itself. Regardless, it is certainly more poignant to me and I will admit that. I remember being a kid and being terrified of Thriller because in the video he turns to his date at the end and has glowing yellow zombie eyes. It made me wonder if people around me were zombies but just looked like regular people. The idea of people being being other than what you think they are was always the most horrifying idea to me. I watched "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" when I was 10 and didn't sleep for a week. I digress, but I think that a major reason as to why people are devastated by Jackson's death is that he represented a particular moment in time that now is extinct. A time in which MTV would actually play videos (which they are today in memoriam which is pretty cool), when pop singers would actually sing instead of lip sync on stage, when people bought records and singles and cassettes instead of just downloading, when a talented little kid who never had a childhood could turn into a troubled, insecure adult who continually tried to please everyone, just like he had when he was a kid pleasing his father, by fitting into society's image of what he was supposed to look and act like. The white beauty, the extravagant spending. And yet I never believed the child molestation allegations. I honestly think that he never got to be a kid and therefore just hung out with little kids because they had what he never did and he wanted to celebrate and live vicariously though it.

I think for a lot of people in my generation MJ is so cemented to our childhood memories that his death is a real testament to the death of our own childhood and the acknowledgement that time has passed and we are all getting older and closer to our own mortality. At the very least it is no more sitting down in front of the tv after a long day swimming and watching the new videos on MTV. I feel like a woman old beyond my time that I am letdown by the current state of the fastfood, hiphop (no offense to HC who loves hiphop), ADD nature of our society. The up side of this is that Chris and I can do our best to create a childhood for Holden that is swimming in summer, exposure to good music, reading books, imaginative play. Basically, a resistance to the current conditions of how quickly children become adults conditioned to prefer computers and DVDs to fairydust dewdrops in the garden and books in invisible ink.

Rant aside, Chris comes home tomorrow yay! We have made it through our first separation post baby. Thanks to Chris's parents for coming to help....we had a great time and can't wait to see you again!

Man I am behind with my pictures. Holden is napping and I am actually able to work on my two kids' books I have been writing. One stars Holden and the other is alien poetry!

Come On Up To The House

We are going to Dallas today to visit Chris's sister Julie! Our first roadtrip with the baby. We come back tomorrow and then Holden has his first babysitting experience (thanks Alicia!) while Chris and I go see Santogold at Stubbs. Going to be a fun few days full of firsts for the boy.

So I've recently discovered that Holden is a musical savant. At the very least he is so in love with music that it is honestly the only thing that I know will calm him down instantly. Even more so than food. I'm serious. I have been packing for the last hour and he sat in front of the stereo listening to the entire Nirvana Unplugged album. It is on its last song now and he is still listening intently in his chair (which he normally hates). Whether it is my singing to him or dancing with him or him just sitting there unstimulated aside from music, he will dance or sit entranced. I honestly have never seen anything like it in a person this young. His attention span is supposed to be 30 seconds or so? The mere fact of this, of his incredible love for music so young, makes me feel so damn lucky. Chris and I both consider music to be such a vital part of who we are and our life together couldn't be recalled without my thinking of the songs we were listening to at each specific time period. He is such a perfect conglomerate of us. He is more incredible than I ever could have imagined. I just feel so lucky to have such a talented little person in my midst. And I get to keep him for as long as he'll let me...which is the hardest part for me to realize. I can't believe I get him in my life forever. No one comes to get him at the end of the day. What a lucky hand I've drawn...getting to spend my life with the two best men in the world. It makes me so paranoid too...I feel like one person can not be so lucky and I am so scared that some karmic balancing act will intervene and disturb our happy nest. I suppose there isn't anything that can be done if that does indeed occur and I should just enjoy these times without concern. All right, I am going to go kiss on the boy while you watch some video footage of his loveliness and my morning singing voice which is not as lovely.

Holden is a Hustler

Saturday Ramblings

The fam took a trip to Torchy's Tacos...where Mommy and Daddy peacefully refreshed their palettes on the goodness of Torchy's queso, while Holden pulled his sunhat down in his carseat and snoozed in the shade.

Then we attemped to enter Emma Long park, but it was full. Yes, there was an actual sign saying that park was full to capacity. Damn Austinites and their love for the outdoors. It worked out in our best interest though, since we instead took a detour to the cutest lakeside restaurant ever!

Holden got some on the go formula (my boobs rejoiced) from Daddy, and we got beers (Fat Tire for me, Red Stripe for Chris). We watched children color with sidewalk chalk as the waves crashed against the dock. It was incredibly peaceful.


Baby blue eyes


yumz yumz


Waz up


Miette did not get an alcoholic beverage...despite being of age


Our view


Waves...we saw a paddle boat we are going to go on!


Arcade inside where you order your pizza and drinks. So quaint and super cute!!!

Week in Review (what is that from???)

Baby boy is over a month old! We had to retire his newborn clothes:( Little guy is growing so fast! We got through our first week sans Chris's 24/7 help...it is all downhill from here!


We successfully navigated Target without major meltdown...


We went hiking in Great Hills Park and saw beautiful acts of god like this overarching grapevine.


We searched for stray peanuts to no avail.


We were calmed by Daddy.


And gazed skyward...


We wore overalls and sent a pic to Grandma Weber


We were visited by Auntie Tammany who gave us the most hilarious and unique picture ever of the animals as Russian Nesting Dolls!


We were given this gorgeous and old-manish handmade elephant: Louis....Thank you Ellen!!!!

And for Holden's 4-week-old birthday...Daddy gave Holden his first belly farts...

Salad Days

I love that phrase and it is appropriate so yay I get to use it. These are salad days! Holden and I napped, read and ate throughout the morning. This was after he went to sleep for almost 6 hours straight last night! I actually woke up terrified and ran in and checked to make sure he was still breathing. Bad move, since I stirred him from sleep. But whatever, I was paranoid.

He will be a month old tomorrow. I really can't believe how quickly the time has gone and how much he and I and Chris have changed in such a short time. We have adjusted to one another and our new house. Holden has gone from a blob (albeit, cute blob) to a giggling, smiling, observing joy. He still melts down and we are still getting him used to hanging out while not being held (which is his favorite activity, snuggling) but he is doing so great on the sleep front and on developing a comfort with the things around him. I love the new noises he makes. Today it was sort of a coo after he smiled.

Today we strolled on down to the park and he didn't freak out once in his stroller, which is new. He absolutely loves being outdoors and it immediately calms him. We sat on a picnic bench and looked around for a while until some shady dude walked into the bushes near us and kept coughing regularly. I didn't want to bust his crops so we left. The geese had a few more stray eggs hanging in the park and they were totally ignoring them and hanging out with their duck posse. Poor eggs. Now Holden is still chillaxin in his stroller near me looking around. ( I love when he just hangs out in new environments and is ok with it.


Gluttonous Sultanfus


Holden is passionate about keeping it weird



Evening activities

It's such a gorgeous sight, to see you eat in the middle of the night

Holden slept 2 five hour stretches last night! Thank the lord. It is hard for me to sleep though anyway, I always have one eye (ear?) open.

We successfully made it through our first day with Chris at work. Of course, he came home at lunch to see how we were. He made me a sandwhich then changed a poopy diaper and put him in the car for me. I am forever amazed at how good a man he is. I just can't imagine doing this with anyone else. I am so lucky for such a beautiful (and sultry!) soul. And I am lucky that my son has his beautiful eyes and arched eyebrows. Even when Holden is squawking I can't stop gaping at those perfect eyebrows. They crush me.

Holden and I ventured to Walmart and the bank. First public outing sans father. Holden had a stage 2 meltdown in Walmart, rightfully so. It sucks there and it smells.

Here he is dancing to his favorite song. He absolutely adores Neil Young. Good baby. Sometimes this song is the only thing that calms him down, like when I filmed this video. He particularly enjoys the guitar solo, as you shall see by his dancing.

God I love this kid so much it grinds me to bits.